Your Sexy Self

We Want to be Sexy

In my opinion, “sexiness” is something that we develop. Being sexy is not as simple as winning the genetic lottery and physically desirable. To me, being sexy is the product of a strong and stable self-concept.

Self-concept is how you perceive yourself in terms of your abilities, characteristics, and behaviour.

Who am I?

Of course, the way we view ourselves can and will change. We all have ups and downs, explore new things, associate with different groups of people, changes to our career and family. Self-concept is shaped largely in our younger years because generally this is when we are laying down the foundation of who we hope to be. We are more impressionable at a young age, we have to make a lot of important decisions, all while actively learning more about ourselves and what inspires us. Our self-concept is so much more “malleable” as we are figuring things out.

Each  experience, success, and failure is something that reaffirms or challenges something we thought we knew or understood about ourself. In my own life, I only feel like the pieces are starting to come together now in terms of a deeper understanding of who I am. It took years of “data” from just living life to develop a more stable view of myself. I think I am at a place now where some of the details might change, but the big picture and the personal narrative is there.

That’s The Thing

It takes time to develop a strong self-concept because you need to experience life. Therefore it takes time to be “sexy” because being sexy comes from being confident in who you are. We might be born attractive but we  aren’t born with the answers we need to find our place. With little exception, the people I have met who I would call sexy, are usually the most memorable people as well. They were people from different walks of my life (whether it be work, sports, or school) who had found their voice. These people knew what they were good at, how they stood relative to others, and were generally open-minded and eager to help others.

Being sexy isn’t about what you look like, it’s about how you view and understand yourself: a strong self-concept. This takes time and it’s for that reason that I think we need to re-evaluate our understanding of the word. Sexiness is a developed trait. It’s a trait that holds complexities as there are as many variables as there are people.  And if it is true that sexiness can be developed then it’s true we have some control over how we develop our sexiness qualities.

Part of that is living in your truth, being who you are, being connected to yourself, and in being authentic.  Being authentic means sharing your truth(s) and not being afraid to show who you are.  The ability to be vulnerable is part of those sexiness qualities and learning to communicate gives voice to your sexiness.  Learning to tap into your authenticity is the ignition you need to bring out your sexy self.