Why Don’t we Connect with Our Audience

Why don’t we connect more effectively with our audiences?

I remember one time not that long ago at my functional fitness gym performing a workout where I was to complete five kettlebell swings, five pull-ups, and five air squats every minute. I notice a fellow gym attendee staring at me during my rest time. However, as the workout progressed, I noticed that he was much slower than me, and he did not carry the correct body mechanics to perform the techniques correctly.

I remember walking up to this gentleman after the workout and telling him that if he wants to keep up with the rest of his peers, he should work on his cardio performance and use lightweight for correct patterns of movements. Usually, I don’t give out advice because it’s none of my business whatever the other person is doing. I was annoyed with this person staring at me. I decided to show him I was the alpha male by walking up to him and telling him what to do.

Let me tell you; this was a wake-up call for me. This person got red-faced, and he felt a bit embarrassed. Afterwards, he told the coach how I was interfering with his workout. He also told my classmates at the gym that I was an egotistical, self-entitled individual and some other colourful words.

As I look back, it would have been straightforward for me to get into a war of words with this individual as my own ego was also triggered.  However, if I did that I would have gone against the gym’s philosophy of building community.  And it would have gone against my own rules of life, living a life of integrity.

If you think about it, I was wrong to walk up to him in front of his peers and openly criticize him for his performance. Just like a dog, if you corner them, they will bite back, which this individual did. I should have created trust first by asking questions and then left a space where he felt safe to share.  I could have listened and learned and then offered advice if he was open to receiving it.

In our day-to-day lives, it seems like we always push our message into the listener instead of pulling them in. We are more concerned with our egos and trying to exert power and influence over people we have no business interfering with. So what can we do to connect more effectively with our audiences?

(1) Develop trust

I am sure you have heard of the emotional bank account. Like a bank account, the more deposits you perform, the more significant your savings will be. You want to start by building a rapport with the person you want to connect with. It all begins with body language. Would you open up to someone if they walked up to you with a pigeon chest and pointed their finger at you? I doubt it. Find common ground, and with that, make and build your foundation. Be vulnerable; I am not talking about wearing your heart on your sleeve. If I were to change my approach, I would have walked up to him nicely with no one around and asked if he wanted help, if he wanted to train with me in the future. I would have created a connection by telling him how my knees caved inwards when I first started air squatting. I might have given an example of what I did that helped me such as using rubber workout bands wrapped around my knees  which helped me build stability.  Based on sharing rather than telling, this way would have opened up a meaningful dialogue.

(2) Be genuine

Have you been flipping channels during the middle of the night and seeing a life-changing guru walking around a stadium preaching how he has the power to change your life? All you have to do is call the number below the screen with your credit card ready and donate now. What was your first impression? I bet you had a few colourful words to describe that individual. Would that have worked if I walked up to that individual and started talking like Dr. Phil? Of course not. Be tactful, practice clarity with your words, and understand that perception is crucial.

“In a world deluged by irrelevant information, clarity is power.” Yuval Noah Harari

Clarity is the essence of creating connections.  Clarity is a standard and to build clarity you have to seek it, which means you have to ask yourself many questions before you build a message or speak with someone.  By asking questions of yourself you seek your own clarity “think before you speak”; it’s an internal resource. When we are in touch with who we are based on authenticity rather than ego we build the ability to create connections. Ignite your clarity; expand your communication skills and work with us to enhance your relationships grounded in presence.