On Wearing Masks

We all wear a Mask

Being a child is fun; you eat, play, sleep and repeat. The beauty about being a child is that the truth comes out, and you get away with it from adults. However, as the years move on, not only physically do you change, but mentally also. For some, the mental aspect takes years, and science even says your brain is not fully grown until you are twenty-five years old.

“The Japanese say you have three faces. The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends and your family. The third face, you never show anyone”.

If you were to look back into your adolescents, at what age do you think you started to consider what to say before speaking? Did you think your words coming out of your mouth had repercussions?. How did you feel when someone told the truth and said the clothes you wore were outdated?. It is so easy to get caught up in your emotions that, if not checked, they will have a long-term effect on you.

If I was to go back to my adolescence, I wish someone would have sat me down and said, “be careful with the words that come out of your mouth. The deadliest weapon on earth is not the sword or the gun; it is the tongue.”

So how do we protect ourselves from the world’s deadliest weapon? We create a “body armor”, but this is an armor you cannot see. It’s invisible and expresses itself in many different forms. We wear masks to cover up the real us and how we are feeling. Wearing a mask protects us from vulnerability. Inside we want to tell people what is going on in our lives, but we fear being judged. Someone will make fun of us for what we believe and feel.

The Japanese say we wear three different types of masks. The first is the one you show the world. Social media is the perfect example of this form. You want to show the world, your peers, that life is good. You want to show the world that you are in charge, confident and perfect. Many of us have worn that mask that exacerbates class and makes this mask makes us so impenetrable that we forget who we are which can lead to confusion and even depression.

Now I am not saying it is horrible and fake to wear a mask. We all need this to protect ourselves from the elements. What are these elements? As human beings, we are social animals. We know how to detect weakness or strength, and some who can see a weakness become predators. We have to understand how to detect predators, and the first line of defense against such individuals is to wear a mask.

You have not reached life’s monumental moments if you do not face adversity. Your life experience and the stories that you can share provide knowledge that can be passed on to help and heal others. It is very accurate to say that if you wear a mask and hide your true self and your personal stories, you will miss the opportunities to connect.

Having good listening skills is the key to maintaining connections and authenticity. My favorite quote that I have kept on my smartphone says…

“If I am silent around you, it’s either because I am trying to figure you out, or I have already figured you out, and I don’t like you.”

In reality, when we drop the mask, when we drop the worry of being vulnerable, when we drop the need to be perfect we then open a door to our inner wisdom and to a life built on authenticity and connection.  After all isn’t that what matters most, the feeling of belonging?  Ignite your inner spirit and be who you are.